New Years Resolutions

So it's been 2010 for a little while now. But my resolutions for the new year are really for the new semester, and that hasn't quite begun yet. On new years, thinking about school and such felt really distant and unimportant, but as I'm preparing to go back the things I'd thought about for resolutions pre-Acorn visit are coming back to me. So I'm going to write them down. Here. So that anyone who reads this can hold me to them. ;) (You can do that, right Jacob?)

1) Phone home!
I'll admit it, I've been atrocious with this. And I can do better! I will figure out, early, a regular time to call home. (Doesn't seem that hard... so as soon as I know when quintet is meeting...) Also, I realized over break that there's no reason I couldn't call other friends from home in an effort to keep in touch. Therefore, I intend to do so. Also, I'm going to say, for the sake of saying it, that I'll post in this blog no less than biweekly. That's right, every other week, for the rest of the year, Miriam will update Obuabamos. It's one more way to communicate with those who aren't right here with me. In return, everyone's always welcome to comment! :)

2) Journal
In the vein of writing regularly, I'm going to go back to keeping a journal much like I did during Walkabout. I won't be sending it to anyone, and I won't have anything to prompt me to write about certain things, but I still want it to have the sort of feeling of a Walkabout journal. What that means is, I want to take time to reflect on the learning experience that is life, and make sure I'm actually accomplishing what I mean to accomplish. It means setting goals and actively gauging how well I'm reaching them. It means facing my short-comings and learning from them instead of letting them slip away forgotten. And, keeping a journal is a pleasant, relaxing activity that I think just makes me a happier person. Theoretically, one writes in a Walkabout journal everyday. In reality, no one quite does this. So, I figure that I'll treat myself about the same way as I did during Walkabout, and I'll reap about the same benefit.

3) Make friends
I was supposed to do this first semester. Well, that's not to say I didn't make any friends. I even started a successful relationship! But in general I feel dissatisfied with my social life and I think that in some cases all I really need to do is be more assertive by doing simple things like asking if people want to hang out with me sometime. (gasp) Being social is generally pretty hard for me, and yet when I made it a specific goal for my Acorn Walkabout I more than succeeded, connecting with some people to the point that I feel like part of a family. Part of that was the openness and awesomeness of people in community, but I suspect a lot of the difference was me.
3a) Spend more time in the Loft...
...or other common space. The point is, I need to get out of my room. It's really quite silly.
3b) Tell people how cool they are
Hey, wanna be friends? Cause you're pretty awesome and I need a life. I don't know why this makes me feel so vulnerable. Again, silly.

4) Make Veg. Club awesome.
I'm president of veg. club now, bitches. What now?

5) Prioritize the gardens...
...above everything else. I mean, I won't skip quintet rehearsal, friends' recitals, or classes with strict attendance policies/that I'm worried about my grade in, but that's it. I'm going to try to affiliate Veg club with the community gardens, so that won't cause conflicts. Homework and practicing can be done anytime, so garden events take precedence. This is one thing I know makes me truly happy, that I truly care about. I'm not letting other things get in the way.

6) Come back to Acorn.
I mean, that's given. But I think it nevertheless belongs on the list. I will be seen at Acorn again in 2010. Count on it.

Rockin' Out in VA for New Years

So, today got back from my visit to the ol' Walkabout placement, Acorn community in Mineral, Virginia. It was a lovely experience all around, except for getting there and especially coming back. Buses are not fun, yo. Being told you have to go all the way down to Tennessee (which is further from Columbus, Charlottesville or Knoxville?) to catch a bus home because Greyhound can't send busses through West Virginia is just plain uncool. So is waiting in the Knoxville bus station for 8 hours. But that's not really the point. The point is, I got to go back to Acorn! :)

Apparently, I have the innate ability to show up right when Acorn's having a party, event though this hardly ever happens. In August I came to Acorn right before their rave, and this time around Acorn had a "New Years Eve Eve" party on December 30th. And after that, there was the infamous Twin Oaks New Years Eve Party. And while another person might see this as a blessing, I would usually be disinclined to feel that way. I surprised myself with the amount of fun I had at both of these events. By the end, I had gained a real sense of having become a part of the family, as it were. Even though I didn't truly know everyone, most people seemed at least familiar. And there was just love and goodwill in the air.

I've met some cool people in the past 10 days that I've been hanging around at Acorn, as well as reconnecting with old friends. There were a couple pretty awesome interns, as well as a pair of visitors from Eastwind. I've been thinking lately that I should someday visit some of these other FEC communities. But I haven't even begun plotting my next visit to Acorn yet, so that's sort of just something to hold in the back of my mind for now.

It's interesting, there hasn't been work to do in Bowling Green's community gardens for a time now, and I wasn't really expecting to find work in Acorn's either. But I wasn't entirely correct, there were a ton of carrots to dig up before the ground froze, greens to be harvested/thinned, and a fight to be had with some row cover. In all of these cases, it was amazing to me how refreshing it felt to be working in the dirt again. Particularly Acorn's dirt. Or just heading past the greenhouse with a garden cart filled with row cover... there was a rightness to it.

Of course, I did have to find other ways to entertain myself. I feel that my most significant project was helping to construct the temporary bedroom in one of the farmhouse living rooms by helping with covering the fold-out wall and constructing a bunk bed. And then I lived there for the rest of my visit. None of my other work was particularly note-worthy. Seed packing and the like. Really, the point of a visit like this, for all that I am ready and willing to work and be helpful, is to spend time with people and such. Which I did. Success!

Home!

Last week was exam week, a week of madness. I really only had three things to worry about, but it was still kind of intense. I had a jury on Monday, my first jury. I had to play a solo for the woodwind faculty and take up 10 minutes. Except, they were running behind so I wasn't even in there for that long. I came in, nodded to my accompanist, played through the second movement of the Saint-Saens, (which, happily, I've played many times in my past) and was excused. I think it went well.

My only other exams were biology and environmental studies. I did awesome on these. The results are already on Blackboard. I also got to meet with the adviser for if I change my major to environmental science or environmental policy. I really think I might do policy. It looks exciting. A friend said to me, so you're going to major in hippie? Some people would be offended by that. However, it pleases me.

I got home on Thursday, just in time to go to WK's choir concert and come up to sing Come to the Water. It's a tradition for the top choir, Kilbourne Singers, to come from the back of the auditorium to the stage singing "Come to the Water" at every concert. At the winter concert, the alumni get to come up to the stage and sing with them. I've been really looking forward to that. It was odd though, for all that I've sung it many times, I almost forgot the words. I hadn't actually thought about the song at all until suddenly I was on stage and supposed to be singing. Oops.

I also got to sing with the choir at Beth Tikvah, my synogogue, Friday night for the Chanukah service. I learned Sargon's "Blessed is the Match" in the car on my way there. It was kind of intense and there were a couple things that were kind of weird at first sight, although when I heard the accompaniment it all fell together in my head and I could sing it. See? When I've studied more music theory I'll be able to predict what all that will sound like too and ge able to learn choir music that much more quickly. Singing felt really good on both occaisions. I wasn't in choir this semester and I've missed it.

Now I'm scrambling to see my friends before I take off... for Acorn!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot express how excited I am to go back! Happy winter solstice y'all! (that's tomorrow right?)

The Lorax

Today, we watched “The Lorax” by Dr. Seus in Environmental Studies 1010. How adorable; much like the rest of the curriculum. Not that I dislike the picture book, and I remember sitting down and watching the animated video all the way through some months ago when I should have been doing homework. In certain contexts, the video would be strikingly appropriate, but I did not feel that way this morning.

Perhaps I am frustrated because I feel that my class is at least half-full of little once-lers, paying no real heed to the message of the class, a message quite like that of the lorax. Unfortunately, I fear it is being communicated just as ineffectively here as in the picture book and that my classmates are no less determined to chop down every last trufula tree than they were when the semester began. Stocks are up! Let’s keep biggering!

I write this as a final tantrum, finally admitting to my true feelings about how I have been spending my time lately. I woke up today to complete the assignment in our cute little lab manual. The entire thing asked us to jump from webpage to webpage, writing down some specific piece of information. Some of the pages didn’t actually exist anymore, although really the whole thing would likely have moved more quickly if I had Googled each question individually.

But you’re supposed to read the articles and learn from them!

That’s not what I was asked to do. If you want me to read about ozone in the troposphere, why don’t you just assign me articles to read about it? Why, you could even put the information you want me to know in the textbook itself! Why have me jump from place to place, regurgitating information like I did in middle school from articles written at a third grade reading level? The real reason, Professor, that students complain when you assign us readings from scientific journals and ask us to synthesize information in an academic essay is that you, not the rest of the system, have lulled us into expecting assignments like what I completed this morning. Why are you surprised, or even disappointed?

As for class today, “The Lorax,” is a well-written story. We’re all familiar with it, a small fuzzy man speaking out against the greedy onceler and his thneed business. We have all heard the refrain, “I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees!”

And the class just sits there as our professor explains that we should take notes because it has to do with class.

Yes! Yes, “The Lorax” is a call to action! And that’s exactly what this class is missing. By this point in the semester, this moment when we have covered every topic in the manual and theoretically have a sound information base in all sorts of environmental issues, the story of the Lorax might just be exactly what ought to tie it all together. Now that you know, now that you see how all of this is connected, take care of that last trufula seed! What? The Lorax is a fictional character? Then it is YOUR job to speak for the trees.

But it has instead become just one more exam item, as if there were any point in testing anyone on “The Lorax.” And when the class was over we all began asking straightforward questions about when assignments are due and how we might weasel out of them. And the tiny little Lorax, he and his message are forgotten.

A Semester (almost) Done With

Well, so much for writing regularly. But what do you expect of a busy college student? What? Other people manage this? I will here none of this nonsense! (But might try harder in the future. We'll see, I make no promises.)

It's been a crazy semester indeed. About halfway through I finally conceded that I was simply not happy and could improve the situation by discontinuing my self identification as a performance major. No worries though! I will continue my studies as a music minor. I don't have a major picked out yet. I'm taking an environmental studies class right now and liking that department a lot, but I'm exploring some other things next semester, including Native American studies and Asian and African geography. Fun times? Maybe? I hope so.

In the mean time, for all that time is running out, fall semester still in fact will last me a few more weeks. Really, less than 2 + exam week. (blech) Speaking of exams, I have a scale jury on Tuesday. (Play 15 scales, the full range of your instrument, it might be any major or minor key played normally or in 3rds. You only get 2 mistakes. Ready? Go!) So, good times.

This Saturday is BGSU's Double Reed Day, which should be plenty exciting. Lots of riciculous music, including some world premieres I will hopefully remember to blog about afterwards. ;) I'm excited. I'm excited to get it over with; I'm playing in 3 ensembles and I barely know when I'm rehearsing with who where.

Other than that, I've been involving myself pretty heavily in Veg. club. I might blog more about that later, perhaps as events start coming up. Also FREEDOM, which is a social justice/activism/we don't know how to self-identify group on campus. Again, more on that soon. Vegetarian potluck after double reed day! Hurrah!

A Quick Visit Makes All The Difference

To be honest, I haven't had the greatest summer. I've spent most of it moping around in self-pity, hating my job, and wishing to be elsewhere. Specifically, I spent it looking forward to July 31, the day I would make a pilgrimage back to Acorn, and looking backwards at my internship, wishing it hadn't ended. I do regret this; I think I could have made infinitely better use of my time if I'd approached things differently. Still, I went back to Acorn and have come home again, and it's time I tell (at least some of) my stories.

When my road trip started drawing to a close and I started recognizing familiar territory, everything started to feel incredibly surreal. I had this strange, "I must be dreaming," feeling, and yet I was quite literally physically shaking with excitement. I greeted friends, and then I had to meet the flood of unfamiliar faces.

Saturday night (August 1) Acorn had a rave, and when I arrived the day before, the place was bursting with people, many of whom I'd never met before. It was very challenging for me, trying to figure out who had what connection to the community. Who was an intern? Who was applying for membership? Who was just there for the rave? Who had been there since June? Who had only just arrived within the last week? I have been away just the slightest bit longer than I was ever present, and there was at least one woman who had arrived days after my initial departure. Finding someone technically (by time span in any case) more a part of the community than I had ever been who I had never met at first disconcerted me. I still remember the feeling, although it seems silly now, just as I knew it to be then. Gaining some level of comfort with new faces at Acorn was the first important step last week in finding the peace I was seeking.

Then there was the party Saturday night, which involved music, dancing, and yes, drugs, though I did not partake. (Walkabout may be over, but school was never the real reason for me to make that sort of decision) Really, I feel as if most of what I needed to get from my visit came only after the rave, but I did manage to have fun, hang out lots with Jess, and discover gleefully how many Twin Oaks members who I'd only met once or twice still remembered me.

Early in the week, both before and after the rave, I feel as if I mostly feel as if my social needs for the trip were addressed. This meant both that I was able to get to know new people and reassure myself of my friendship with people I had heard from only rarely (if at all) over the past two months. I've really come to realize what great friends I really do have at Acorn and I feel almost foolish for having doubted that. I came to feel even closer to a few of the members than I had over Walkabout, and I came to fully understand that I really can come back whenever I want/can manage to do so. Thank you everyone (in case you're reading this), you're wonderful.

Then there was the fine art of paying homage to all the little shards of my soul that had been sprinkled throughout the property and coming to terms with the fact that not only the social landscape, but the physical landscape of Acorn had changed. Most significantly, two building projects that were passed during my internship have actually seen some work (there's a bunch of tree houses being built behind Heartwood, and the foundation (?) for Bucket's natural building workshop project has been laid) and the garden is growing! The beans I planted are being harvested! Plants I helped grow are gone! Plants I've never seen before have sprouted! I ran around the garden, feeling like some crazy relative that comes up to you when you're young and exclaims, "look how you've GROWN!" And this was all well, except for the part that I've gone from knowing nothing, to feeling exceedingly competent, to not really knowing what's going on anymore. By the end of the week, I at least felt I was pretty sure I knew what plants were growing where again, and I had helped out with enough things in the garden to feel I'd left at least a small imprint on things. I have my fancies anyway.

Basically, I've made the cognitive leap to truly understand that things are happening and changing outside the world that I directly experience and feel--and it's OK. That doesn't make me belong any less. I don't know how many Walkabout students leave their placement feeling as if they've discovered a second family, but I know that I have. Again, thanks everyone. Can't wait to see you again ;)

What Has Obuabamos Become?

For two months now, I have chosen not to speak to the wide world of the internet for a while, not really knowing what I ought to say. That uncertainty stems from a deeper uncertainty of who I ought to be and what I ought to become. My second Walkabout left my inner compass spinning wildly out of control, and the purpose of any blog I might write became helplessly murky.

Literally translated from the context from which the word was derived, "obuabamos" means, "we used to oboe." This may turn out to be a very telling name for this blog. Certainly, we (me, myself, and I) used to oboe every day without fail. We haven't lately. I haven't abandoned the oboe entirely, and I haven't even decided to change majors--I'll go with Plan A for a minimum of one semester. But more than that?

The reason I made this blog was to chronical the adventures and misadventures of Walkabout for all who wished to hear what was becoming of me while occaisionally getting on a soapbox for the fun of it and pretending the internet was listening. I've recently realized that I can still do all this--only now I'll be documenting the adventures and misadventures of college.

And really, whether I become musician or... or... whatever it is I might be heading towards, I think it will be really cool to share how I get there. So, I'm just going to write about stuff that sounds cool to write about for a while, and slowly try to get connected to the larger community of the internet. Hello Blogospere! I'm back!